Here at BlissDivorce, we’re not in the business of fortune-telling. These 5 signs, however, could mean that a divorce is in your future. While many issues can lead to divorce, these “fatal five” are what lawyers and family counselors consider to be the most obvious warning signs.
1. You Don’t Know How To Talk To Each Other About Differences Of Opinion… Or You’re Not Talking About It At All.
No two people see eye-to-eye 100% of the time. Will you watch Game of Thrones or a historical documentary? Will you have a vacation or a staycation? Will the children go to public school or private? Which holidays will you celebrate as a household, and what role will religion play in your family? How will you spend household funds? When you and your spouse disagree, how do you handle it?
Ideally, both people’s views are heard, and a compromise is struck. Reaching that compromise depends upon solid, honest communication.
If you find your discussions turning into heated arguments, it means that at least one of you isn’t feeling heard. All couples have the occasional misunderstanding, but if it happens frequently, it may mean that you have deeper communication issues to work on.
If frustrations are high enough, one or both of you may decide it isn’t worth the effort to make yourself understood. When couples are less than honest in order to avoid conflict, or when bickering turns into “the silent treatment,” it doesn’t bode well for long-term success.
2. You Don’t Have A Satisfying Sex Life Together.
Are you having sex with your spouse? If not, why not? And do you know how both you and your spouse feel about that?
Like everything in marriage, a good sex life depends on good communication. When needs in the bedroom aren’t being discussed, they can’t be met. For most people, these unmet needs cause unhappiness and even resentment. Unfulfilling sex can progress to no sex at all. While not all unsatisfied partners cheat, and not all marriages are centered around sex, very few divorce lawyers are surprised to hear that their clients haven’t had sex with their spouses in years.
3. You Don’t Appreciate Each Other
Running a household together requires work on everyone’s part. It can be little things, like taking out the garbage or cooking dinner, or larger things, like childcare or bringing in money. Even when everyone is doing their fair share, one spouse or both may feel like their contributions aren’t appreciated, and it hurts. Do you feel appreciated? Do you express appreciation for the things your spouse contributes to the household? If not, this could spell trouble for your marriage.
Spouses don’t always have to see eye-to-eye to have a happy marriage, but eye-rolling, belittling comments, and other expressions of contempt can be poisonous to a relationship. These gestures can communicate a lack of respect, but more importantly, they can indicate mounting, unresolved frustrations, which can lead to divorce.
5. Family Tragedy
Sometimes, tragedy brings people together. However, when anger about the tragedy causes spouses to become short-tempered with one another, or when grief causes individuals to turn inward, ignoring their spouse, it can be difficult to separate family tragedy from the relationship, and instead, it can cause people to drift apart.