A painful reality of sharing custody of your children is that you will have to compromise on where they spend the most important days on your calendar.

Here are some guidelines for reaching an agreement.

Divide the Days.

You may find that you and your spouse have different priorities when it comes to holidays. It may also be that you and your spouse have holidays that one of you celebrates and the other does not. Trade days that are important to them for days that are important to you, and you will have one less thing to disagree about.

Alternate years.

Work out a calendar who which parent spends what holiday for even-numbered years and then switch it for odd years.

Divide the holiday.

If both parents live close, it may be possible for the children to spend part of the day with one parent, and part of it with the other.

Celebrate twice.

For example, one parent might celebrate the holiday a few days earlier, while the other parent celebrates with the child on the day itself.

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